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Out of the Past: A Beginning
Marriage has long presented a perplexing paradox. Eagerly embraced as the basis of a good life, marriage is nevertheless a source of disappointment and disillusionment for many spouses. We tend to explain a particular couple's unhappiness in terms of unique personal failings and incompatibilities. Marriage failures in general are blamed on new social trends, such as changes in occupation and life style, and the prevalence of cultural ideologies of permissiveness and personal freedom. Overlooked in these analyses is an age-old legacy perpetuating an environment of marital strife. This book addresses that heritage.
Described in the Book of Proverbs as worth more than rubies and as a crown to her husband, the wife is considered a great good. Men are urged to marry because without a wife, there is no help, joy, blessing, or atonement. Another description of women is quite different. When seen as contentious or wicked, woman is a scourge worse than death, unwanted even by the devil, and more dangerous than lions and dragons. This double view continues to the present in myth, the media, and popular parlance.
Despite their popularity, these views are distortions of reality. Certainly less than perfect, women like men are not all good or all bad. Research is finding more and more evidence that except for the most obvious physical and reproductive differences, women and men are essentially the same kind of beings.1 In a world where physical prowess is no longer critical for economic success, women are proving to be the equal of men in many fields of endeavor, for example, law, medicine, computer programming. Even in areas long considered a male preserve, such as the military, women are proving to be equal contributors.
In spite of these findings, the issue of gender equality remains a problem in today's world. Society still places the major responsibility on wives for child rearing, domestic chores, catering to a husband, and generally maintaining good family relations. Many women feel this to be clearly a heavy and unwarranted burden. Furthermore, women are often condemned for actions that seem acceptable in men, for example, sacrificing home life for career ambitions, dominating and controlling a spouse's life, and fighting directly and strongly for their own needs and desires.
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