Story - The Assertive Man: Fembar's Curiosity

Fembar's husband, Jarbar, came from another country, where he learned to understand the language of animals. In a vision, the gods warned him not to tell anyone, or he would die. He agreed to keep this gift a secret.

Fembar and Jarbar loved each other dearly, and all went well for a long time. One day however Fembar received word that her father had died. She was grief-stricken. Jarbar tried to console her and urged her to leave immediately to be with her family. He assured her he would do all her chores and then meet her at her family's home.(1)

Fembar was preparing to leave, and Jarbar went into the yard to feed the chickens. He began to laugh when he overheard one of them say something funny.

Fembar was shocked thinking he was ridiculing her sadness. Jarbar immediately assured her that his laughter had nothing to do with her, but he could not tell her why he laughed.

Fembar was outraged. She could not understand why so loving a husband would laugh at this time, and now would not tell her why. Seeing her so upset, Jarbar confided that if he told her the reason he would die. Fembar was greatly distressed by his unfeeling behavior; and this far-fetched explanation made her feel even worse. Moved to great sympathy for his wife, he wanted more than anything to preserve her love for him.(2) He knew that for him her well-being was more important than life itself.(3)

And so he told her the truth. And he died.

1. Like the Assertive Woman, the Assertive Man lives in a society without strict adherence to male dominance/female subservience.

2. He can act freely without being dominant.

3. His behavior indicates great respect and concern for his wife's needs and wishes.